Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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