were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
