I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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