I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
