I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
