and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
