Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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