I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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