oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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