His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
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He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
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We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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