Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
