Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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