Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
