We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
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don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
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If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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