I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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