I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
