Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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