do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
