I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
