Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
