So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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