So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
