dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
