U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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