Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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