So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
