super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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