he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
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So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
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we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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