I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
