i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
