i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
