We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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