Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
