I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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