Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
