my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
