Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
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Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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