My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
