I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
