honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
