Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
