Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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