I could make wine with my vomit
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
