Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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