nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
