JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
