I'm so fucking centered right now
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
