youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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