She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
