At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Alive.
So much puke
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
