you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
