He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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