Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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