Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
