we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
