I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
