How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
