Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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