I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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