he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
