it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
And then he peed in my hair
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