My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
