do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
